The Curse Of The Easy A

I heard a friends say: "I am going easy on my children because I want to give them space to explore things for themselves.", which was immediately followed by "I do not understand why they cannot just sit down and do their homework when I tell them to do it." This conversation was in the context of what we expected from our children.

My experience tells me that children need and function best when they have clear guidance or boundaries and know what you expect from them. Far from being restrictive, boundaries are the walls of protection which we as parents and educators can place around children to make them feel save. Once a child feel save, they start to explore.

However, boundaries without expectation brings about frustration or even stress. Why? If boundaries constantly change, a child will become pre-occupied with testing the boundaries to see if they've changed rather then relax and starting to explore.

Try the following plan and see what it brings out in your children
1) Choose ONLY ONE area which you want to address. (doing homework or going to bed on time etc)

2) Set out and communicate the boundary clearly to all people in the household (Bed time is at 7pm)

3) Declare the consequence (if they comply: When you ready for bed at 7pm I will read you ONE story or 3 pages. If they don't comply: If you are not ready at 7pm I will take away 10 minutes away from your TV or Computer time.)

4) Your task is to stick with this boundary and commit to not move it under any circumstances (not even for favorite soap on TV or watching the news etc.)

5) Your child's task is to tell you what they need to help them meet your expectation

6) Once you established stability in one area (about 1 - 3 weeks depending on the child's age) you can start focusing on the next area you need to address.

Please notice that a child is not rewarded for doing the things they should be doing, rather the child knows what will happen when they comply. The focus is not on waiting for the child to fail, but rather on us as adults to enable our children to succeed and give them the tools and assistance to meet the expectations we place on them.

I read this interesting article on the Education News Archive :: The Curse Of The Easy A. This teacher discovered something amazing happen when he changed the expectation be placed on his students.

To your success.

From My Crazy Pencil
http://www.kipmcgratheducation.co.uk